As parents we've all heard the term "tough love". No you won't get what you want, or what you're asking for, because as a parent with more earthly experience I know it's not good for you. You aren't leaving the table until you eat at least three (dad-approved size!) bites of vegetables.
ABA is just that kind of thing. It's not about trying to change someone, or turning them into some kind of "robot" (this is a common, if somewhat absurd, criticism); it's about teaching them important life skills and weeding out dangerous or inappropriate behaviours in a controlled, systematic way that won't overload them. No matter how much they may protest in the moment. Done correctly, it's patient, controlled and non-judgmental.
Isn't that what good parenting is about?
Isn't that what love is about?