Shakespeare didn't get it wrong. He was being ironic. In his play "Romeo and Juliet", Juliet says to her star-crossed lover, Romeo, one of the most oft-quoted lines in English literature: "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet". What she meant was that it didn't matter to her that his family name meant they were supposed to be bitter enemies; she loved him just the same. Very romantic. And in great Shakespearian tradition, they both die. Thus the irony.
The point, I think, is this: labels do matter, but that doesn't mean you should allow them to define how you think about something.
We've all been there (or know someone who has) - you know something is not quite "right" about your child. At first, people tell you not to worry, that children develop at different rates. But at some point you just know, and so after some amount of navigating whatever medical system you live under, you end up talking to some kind of pediatrician or psychologist or whatever who gives you a label. "Your child has autism." It might be a bombshell if you aren't expecting it, or it might be a relief if you're far enough along that you know how the system works.
Different people have different labels for it. Those labels absolutely make a difference. As far as the schools are concerned, it's a disability. That way he gets help. Same goes for the government - disability tax credits to offset the cost of intervention programs that go beyond what other programs provide. In our case, that is (or used to be) the Ministry of Children and Family Development. They needed a diagnosis of PDD or ASD (it's a "disorder"). Psychiatrists like to call it a disease. But good luck trying to put your kid in a school saying they have a "disease" and hoping they don't get treated like a leper.
Many years ago, we were with a large group of friends. Among this group is a boy only a few weeks older than my son. I think they were about 6 or 7, and being a curious lad he asked us why this kid hardly ever conversed with him like his other friends did. Not in any demeaning way - he was actually very kind and diplomatic, saying that he really liked him and considered him a good friend, but was just curious why he acted the way he did.
So we told him. He has autism. He was born with it. His brain works differently from other people. He's really good at some things and not so good at others, like communicating. And you're a good friend for asking.
"Cool." And he went back to whatever LEGO thing they were building together. Years later, this same kid who couldn't carry a conversation with his inquisitive friend helped that same friend get through summer school math.
I really like the term "Neuro Divergent", which someone used recently in a comment to one of my posts and brought it to mind. Having my formative years in the 80's I learned to distrust ridiculous political correctness (I'm not vertically challenged, I'm short) but this one is not a euphemism. It recognizes something really important.
"Dad, I heard you talking about autism. Do I have autism?"
"Is that bad?"
"Not at all. It's just part of what makes you who you are. It means you need extra help with some things that other kids don't need help with, but that's OK. Everyone needs help with something. It just means you're different. Some people might have a hard time with that but that's their problem."
So some people need to call it a disease, or disorder, or disability, or something else that sounds negative. They need that in order to their job, which ultimately is to make assistance available. Some people call it that out of habit.
Personally I try to carefully choose words designed to help people feel good about themselves, and others. They also happen to be the truth. But that's just me. Maybe I'm different too.